Nap Time

Crazypixie has a daily routine that she is rather fond of, or should I say if she gets her naps and food on time we can avoid TTM (total toddler meltdown).

Today was the first day where I didn’t have assistance from himself, my mum or my sister at nap time.

Now, rather than be worried, I was optimistic. I’m a very capable woman (had to stopping typing there as had a fit of crazy laughter). I had even dared to plan on taking a nap myself as my two darlings snored sweetly (I know…hilarious)

Nap time is about 10:30, so I reckoned and hour and a half lead in time would be plenty.

This is roughly how it unfolded:

9:00 Put on kettle for cup of tea before the madness. Decide to do a quick wash-up as there is a lot of water in the kettle (feeling so organised and supermumish). Crazypixie helps by emptying cupboards.
9:15 Tinyelf begins to stir. Play a last game of build-the-bricks-and-knock-them –down-again with crazypixie, while keeping an ear out for tinyelf.
9:30 Feed tinyelf while reading animal book with crazypixie (definitely heading for mum of the year now).
9:45 (yes, she’s a speed feeder) Started to change tinyelf. Lifted crazypixie down from the table.
9:50 At the insistence of my toddler put nappy on crazypixies dolly, lifted crazypixie down from table for the third time.
9:55 Calmed crazypixie down after a Oscar-winning dive to the floor (from the floor) and big crocodile tears. Here comes the TTM………….
10:00 Manage to finish changing tinyelf, who’s not too impressed at this stage, as crazypixie flings her dolly around the room.
10:05 Give crazypixie her morning snack. All smiles and sweetness again. Lay tinyelf in her pram to kick about and so she’s out of reach from crazypixie who’s doing her best to introduce her sister to solids a little bit too early.
10:10 Run upstairs to get sleeping bag and bear. Tinyelf starts screaming. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram.
10:15 Realise sleeping bag is covered in poo from this mornings ‘good morning mummy’ gift. Run back up to laundry room to locate clean sleeping bag, crazypixie quite happy sleepily clutching bear but tinyelf wakes crying again. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram (going into crisis mode now) .
10:20 Chase crazypixie who has woken up again and decided that mummy needs more exercise (she may have a point) and then play I’ll-try –to-change-your-nappy-while-you-try-to-flip-yourself-over-and-run-away-at-every-possible-opportunity. Tinyelf wakes. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram (smiling on the outside, tearing my hair out on the inside).
10:25 Dismantle nappies and put them in bucket for washing later. Wash crazypixie’s hands after removing them from toilet. Tinyelf wakes. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram (I think I'm developing a nervous tic).
10:30 Put crazypixie in her sleeping bag. Start to sing her sleepy song while rubbing her hair. Tiny elf begins to wake. Run upstairs with crazypixie, give her a kiss, say night-night while putting her into her cot. Remove and hide extra toys that will keep her awake. Turn on monitor.
10:35 Run back downstairs to the now screaming tinyelf. Wind and soothe her…….give her another small feed……….walk around and sing to her until she dozes off.
10:50 Put tinyelf back in pram, settle her gently when she stirs again.
11:00 Both girls asleep. I enjoy a cold cup of tea while venting into the blogosphere…………..(it wasn't that bad, really)
11:30 Cr@p! Is that crazypixie stirring?

And then there were two.

Almost two weeks in and I’m beginning to discover the realities of two under two.

Here is a taste of the parenting dilemmas I’ve faced to date:

Tinyelf is latched on and frantically trying to deal with my Niagara-like let down, crazypixie is happily rolling around on the ground when I notice a suspicious brown substance running down her leg.
Solution: Ignore suspicious brown substance as himself is due home and finish feeding tinyelf.

Tinyelf is screaming with wind while I rub her back, meanwhile crazypixie disappears briefly then reappears chewing something that she refuses to show me but I catch a glimpse of a lump of blue stuff. Bluetac?
Solution: Prop tinyelf up with cushion and chase crazypixie and pry her mouth open. Only blue paper – whew. Let her eat it and resume winding tinyelf.

Tinyelf is fretting a bit with her nappy off as I clean off a particularly explosive poo, crazy pixie picks this moment to climb up on the garden bench, then onto table, then she proceeds to stand up on table and totter around precariously close to the edge.
Solution: Grab naked tinyelf and run to intercept crazypixie before she does a header off the table. In the excitement tinyelf pees all over my t-shirt and my only nursing bra that is both clean and fits.

Tinyelf is nursing enthusiastically when crazypixie disappears from view in the garden (don’t call social services, it is an enclosed garden and I’m sitting at the French doors).
Solution: Attempt to keep tinyelf latched on as I run around the side of the house. Crazypixie is just attempting to get in the cat flap but the neighbours are now wondering why I’m running around with my boobs hanging out and spraying milk in all directions as tinyelf howls for more.


And I have a feeling the fun is only beginning…………..

Life Lessons

This was posted on a thread on Rollercoaster today and I thought I'd share it with you all (lazy blogger that I am).

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone....
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26.. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything..
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

You think you know someone.....

You think you know someone….

You spend 7 years living together
You share all your hopes and dreams
You accept each others faults and foibles
You have two wonderful children together

Then one day…………………

He does a drawing for your toddler. It’s a primitive drawing of a person that she immediately recognises as a ‘baba’ i.e. someone other than dada or mama. But it’s not a stick man like you would expect…..

No, it is a bubble man; circular belly, and oval limbs.

What is that all about?

I am in control!

The porridge is soaking and crazypixie’s morning cup of milk is already poured and in the fridge.
Lunch and dinner are prepared and ready to go.
There are spare clothes for both of my girls down stairs.
Freshly laundered nappies have been assembled and stacked in the sitting room.
Crazypixie’s CD’s and musical instruments are lined up for action.
There is a ready supply of puzzles, crayons and colouring books to hand.

Himself is only going to work for a few hours.

What could possibly go wrong?

What's in a name?

Crazypixie has a new word she uses when she wants something right now.

To a stranger it may sound like she is shouting ‘Knee!’, but we know that she is shouting himselfs first name. In fact, she is doing a perfect impression of mummy shouting upstairs to daddy to ask him (read tell him) to do something.

He’s still ‘dada’ for cuddles and when she’s missing him but if she wants something from the other side of the room or a door to be opened, it’s ‘Knee!’

Not a very flattering reflection on yours truly………

Is that you mummy?

Crazypixie spent this morning pulling my top up and down, presumably trying to figure out where mummy’s sizable tummy has gone and what on earth has happened to mummy’s boobs.

Yes, I am now the proud owner of a pair of 40FF’s that I need a wheelbarrow to cart around. My milk has come in and the tinyelf and I are trying to adjust (think mouse trying to feed from geezer).

In the meantime my heart is breaking for my crazypixie (not helped by postpartum hormones) as I see her trying to figure out what’s going on. She alternates between kissing ‘baba’ to trying to pull baba off mummy. As we get her involved and try to show her what’s going on she is dealing it with it in her own 15 month old way. She’s climbing up to the pram to take a look and see our reactions and pointing out ‘baba’ to every guest . She’s also been very busy changing and winding her dolly, and only occasionally throwing dolly across the room.

We’re very lucky to have great family support and my in-laws have moved in for a few days to help (this is a good thing) so at least crazypixie is getting loads of attention and distraction.

Nonetheless, crazypixie is my baby and I’m finding it a little difficult to adjust too! I’m trying to make as much time as I can for just her but my darling tinyelf is quite demanding as she tries to train mummy and daddy in her ways.

I know we’ll find our balance and we’ll be just fine and crazypixie will soon come to accept tinyelf as part of our family and by this time next year my girls should be the best of buddies and gleefully wreaking havoc together.

The birth…..

Okay, here it is……the highlights…gory bits omitted…and names changed to protect the innocent.

Monday am….saw doc, had a check, things looking ‘favourable’, doc did a bit of what himself describes as ‘jiggery-pokery.’
Monday lunch time…mild contractions start. Spend most of Monday walking the streets while mum minds crazypixie.
5am Tue….contractions strong enough that I can’t sleep through them.
5:30…….himself and myself have a cup of tea in the garden and between contractions enjoy the early morning sunshine and decide that today is a lovely day for a birth.
6:30….off to hospital. Therein follows a few hours of increasing contractions which I dealt with in my own unique way by trying to remember the mantras from my gentlebirth programme (which I never did get finished) and sampling the miracles of modern pain relief (the same as last time, I started off refusing everything and by the end would probably have gratefully taken heroin – big wuss that I am).
Fast forward through my martyrdom…………(must mention how wonderful himself was…..and how he knew just when to shut up)..
15:40. Pushing begins. Lovely midwife explains about pushing 3 times on each contraction and that when she sees head begin to crown, she’ll ask me to pant to slow things down.
15:45…contraction (or surge in gentlebirth lingo – I remembered that)…one push….midwife shouts ‘pant, pant, pant’…..little head is out already.
15:50….one more contraction and she’s fully out! Like a bar of soap (and no stitches for mummy)!

Then follows a lovely quiet time as she lies on my tummy and we all just pause and wait 5 mins for the chord to stop pulsing. Himself cuts the chord and she snuggles in for a long feed.

It was a lovely day and we’re home now since Wednesday lunch time. Crazypixie has been busy kissing her new ‘baba’, if anything we may have to curb her enthusiasm slightly. Our newly extended family is busy getting to know each other.

Welcome home our tinyelf.

So, how are you feeling?

Well, I’m still here. Littlespud decided to stay put for a while and let mummy, daddy and crazypixie enjoy all the wedding festivities. And enjoy them we did.

Except, for one small thing…….I seem to have been perceived as some kind of freak show.

I understand people mean well and ,in fairness, I am pretty huge at the moment and my mother has been telling everyone (random strangers included) that I’m due any minute and that they didn’t even think I’d make the wedding, but….there are a few phrases I must have heard a hundred times in the last two days.

These include:

‘How are you feeling?’ Long stress on the ‘feeeeling’, and usually accompanied by a hand on the shoulder and concerned stare. I tried the nonchalant ‘I’m feeling fine, how are you?’ and, after an hour or two, the slightly more concise, ‘Pregnant.’

‘When are you due?’ A few times I went with honesty and answered, ‘Yesterday,’ but the hoo-haa that elicited was often more than I was able for. Once I muttered ‘September,’ and I think that poor lady is still looking at me.

‘Still here?’ Another phrase spoken with a smile and usually repeated by the same person every time they passed and with increasing frequency in direct correlation to the amount of alcohol they had consumed. ‘Ho, ho, yes, still here,’ I reply again and again.

‘Not going to pop on us now are you?’ This was usually accompanied by a nod and a wink, a favourite of uncle-types! ‘Any moment now!’ I muttered through smiling teeth.

‘Aren’t you great to be here in your condition?’ This is one I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to but I went with ‘Ah, sure, I’m only pregnant.’ Because it’s not as if I’ve been let out of the hospice for the occasion or anything.

I’ve debated using (and might yet):

‘Oh, I had the baby.’

‘Pregnant, me? No, do I look fat?’

or...

‘I’m feeling f*cking hormonal, so back off.’

Again, let me reiterate, I know people mean well and that they just can’t help using what must be the most obvious conversation opener but I’ve never been good at small talk or been able to handle fuss (give me a Pc to hide behind any day), so for the next few days I think it may be better if I just turn off the phone, keep my virtual self offline and generally hibernate until littlespud decides its time to meet the world.

And then…….I will text everyone, blog about the birth and update my facebook profile accordingly….unless I’m too busy with all the new baby fuss, of course!

Thoughts on birth and other stuff...

It’s the day before my due date and I’ve decided I want a home birth.

Or rather, I don’t want an over medicalised hospital birth. Yes, this may be last minute panic or those crazy pregnancy hormones again but it’s more likely a result of my recent reading material.

I’ve been collecting information for a new section on birthing choices for tinygreenpeople and it has been an eye opener. Mammydiaries sent me a collection of links before she had her own wonderful home birth and I have been perusing them today (I know, superb timing as always).

It probably doesn’t help that my current bedtime reading material is ‘The Politics of Breastfeeding: When Breasts are Bad for Business’ by Gabrielle Palmer. Instead of winding down with a novel and drifting blissfully to sleep, I find myself being outraged again and again and waking himself up so I can rant at someone (be grateful that I don't have a laptop by my bed).

I’ve also spent a lot of time the last few months visiting friends and family in the local maternity hospital. This is a brand new, purpose built, ‘centre of excellence’. Why then does it seem so unsuitable for babies and mothers? Surely there is no need for it to be such a ‘hospital’. There must have been a way to design things so mothers and babies could bond gently without having to contend without the noisy family of ten visiting next door, without outrageously early morning rounds, food of little nutritional value and staff that is too overworked to provide the emotional and practical support many first time mothers need.

I know most of these problems stem from our individuated society and lack of community. Oh for a place where women could be women and share their experiences without judgement and children could be raised by family and community as opposed to a sector of the workforce.

Oh to live in a society rather than an economy.

But, I digress………again.

Family time.

Maybe the crazypixie knows something I don’t but she unpacks my labour bag at least twice a day and runs off with the contents. At this rate I could find myself in the labour ward with a bag containing nothing but some pre-chewed ricecracker, one sock and pink monkey (not an Anne Summers gadget but one of crazypixie’s stuffed minions).

At least there is plenty to distract me from obsessing over the upcoming birth.

My lil bro and his fiancée have conveniently decided to have their nuptials this week, followed a few days later by a great big wedding bash. There is a whole week of festivities planned to keep us all amused and to get to spend as much time as a family as possible( yes, this is a good thing – boringly, we all get on really well and said lil bro and fiancée normally reside in the antipodes).

Couldn’t we have timed this little better? You may well ask. And my entire family did ask when we first admitted that our due date might be a bit close to the wedding (as in two days after the ceremony and one day before the party). In our pathetic defence we hadn’t actually planned to be pregnant quite so soon. I was still breastfeeding crazypixie and she was just being introduced to the joys of solids. My cycle hadn’t even returned (ah yes, we’re the stereotypes – that couple that is cited as a warning about using breastfeeding as your only method of contraception).

My mum summed it up by retorting to my justifications, ‘Well, you didn’t do anything to prevent it!’

So, with a bit of luck my waters won’t break during the I do’s, we’ll all enjoy some great family celebrations over the next few days and just as we wind down from the wedding, I’ll put my hand on my bump, turn to himself and whisper, ‘I think it’s time dear.’

You just never know...

Yesterday while trying to walk the baby out..........
I was about to step over a piece of dirt, when it got up and flew away. A butterfly...........

What’s with the lemons?

Yesterday evening I was sitting back giving my poor pregnancy weary body a rest when himself poked his head in from the kitchen (yes, the wonderful man was doing the wash-up).
‘What’s with all the lemons?’
‘Lemons?’ I was confused.
Apparently I had ordered a bag of lemons with my online shopping and then bought more at the farmers market. So what was with all the lemons?
I had no idea.
I mean I remember buying them, kind of. But I have no idea what I was going to do with them.
We put it down to crazy pregnancy brain (what am I going to do when I can’t use that excuse anymore?) and laughed it off.
Then today, when my mum called over I gave her the lemons as we’ve a big family gathering on Monday and I thought they might come in useful for the ole G&T’s. So she put them in her bag.
No problems so far.
Then she went to leave and for some reason, I needed a lemon, so she agreed to leave one with me.
I then sat down and spent the next half hour smelling the lemon (I kid you not).
By now himself was home and tactfully ignoring my lemon sniffing.
But he began to get worried when I grabbed my phone, rang mum and asked for the rest of the lemons back! Not to mention half an hour later when he found me in tears because I couldn’t find my lemon.
So I’ve been drinking a kind of homemade lemon drink for the evening and we seem to have silently agreed not mention the insanity of my latest obsession.
Could this be some bizarre indication that labour is imminent or am I losing the plot altogether? Or maybe a little from column A and a little from column B?

From Mummy to Littlespud.

Littlespud,
We are all ready to meet you. Your mummy wants to hold you in her arms, cuddle you, nurse you, gaze on you with wonder and of course respond to your every demand.
Your dada wants tell you how much he loves you, to snuggle you in his strong embrace and is all set for midnight nappy changes.
Your big sister has an endless supply of kisses for you. She’s ready to rock you enthusiastically and feed you all kinds of goodies when mummy’s not looking.
You have four doting grandparents who can’t wait for a cuddle and aunties and uncles ready to shower you with love. Your brand new little cousin is looking forward snuggling with you too.
These past nine months have been wonderful, feeling you grow and begin to move and wriggle. But it must be getting quite cramped in there now. Every time you stretch your legs that’s mummy’s stomach and ribs that are getting in your way. And mummy’s pelvis is that hard thing you butt your head against as you stretch your arms into mummy’s lower intestine and playfully punch her in the cervix.
There is much more room out here and we are all so looking forward to meeting you. This week would be lovely, today even, but preferably before your uncles wedding next week.
See you soon my little love,
Mummy

My big Achievement!

I painted my own toenails: not easy at 38+ weeks pregnant, and you wouldn't want to take too close a look.