Can’t you take a hint mummy?

A friend called over this afternoon with her tiny person and as we sat there chatting I began to wonder what crazypixie was up to out in the hall. A quick peek around the corner revealed the results of her labours.
In the middle of the floor were: my sandals, her sandals and her jacket that she had managed to extricate from the bucket of freshly washed clothes.
Crazypixie herself was sitting on her bike, which was parked at the front door and attempting to tie the straps around her waist.

Do you reckon she was trying to tell me something?

Thank you for the days.....

Dare I say it but things seem to have settled down here. Crazypixie is teething; canine no.1 has just cut through, but is dealing with it superbly. These are the first teeth that have cut through since she weaned so it is considerably easier on mummy too.
Tinyelf is now 3 weeks old and it seems as if she’s been around a lot longer. Her sister showers her with kisses daily and when tinyelf cries, crazypixie admonishes me, ‘Mummy (we’ve progressed from Mama), row, row…’ Meaning, sing ‘row, row, your boat.’ Mind you, ten minutes later tinyelf is often jolted awake by crazypixie shouting ‘boo!’ into the pram……..
Our days are on the whole very enjoyable. We don’t go that many places: we’ve made a trip to the doctor for checkups and vaccinations and we’ve recommenced our weekly trip to the farmers market for some decent food. We also make the odd visit to friends and family but otherwise they have all been coming to us.

Once crazypixie is in bed, you’d think things would be even calmer…but, oh no.
Tinyelf, like her sister at that age, has a witching hour (more like 2 to 3 hours). This involves general restlessness and crying and the ritual dousing of mummy. Over the last three nights, I’ve been pooed on once and puked on twice. And we’re not talking spit up here, but the type that requires both mummy and tinyelf to strip down completely (much to himself’s glee) and be power-hosed. All I can say is, I don’t know how the parents of colicky babies cope……10 mins of crying and we’re all at our wits end here.
I’m currently cutting dairy out of my diet to see if that has an effect of tinyelf’s windiness but it may also be due to the drops she’s on for thrush, or a myriad other reasons and we may never know………….. ah the joys of it all.

So my final thought for today:

Sometimes being a parent means having to scoop poo from your cleavage………

Wedding Regrets

We were invited to a wedding today. We couldn't go. Here's the email I sent to the happy couple.

To the Bride and Groom,

As you exchange marriage vows, we’ll be thinking of you while we change yet another nappy.
As you sip champagne and chat with your guests, we’ll think of you while we cuddle our girls and put them down for their naps.
As you eat a wonderful meal with your family and friends, we’ll think of you as we try to grab some dinner while ducking to avoid flying toddler bowls
As you share anecdotes and proclaim your happiness in speeches, we’ll think of you as we read Woof’s Bedtime Story for the 2000th time.
As you dance the night away, we’ll think of you as we pace the halls soothing our newborn baby.
As dawn breaks and you happily head to the bridal suite, we’ll think of you as we are roused by an enthusiastic toddler and a very hungry baby.

Have a great day.

Myself, Himself, Crazypixie and Tinyelf.

The New Boss

Crazypixie has a new word……..
‘No!’ accompanied by vigorous shaking of the head.
This means that combined with her heretofore favourite word ‘more!’ she can pretty much get mummy and daddy to meet her every whim.

At lunch today she pointed her imperious finger towards the middle of the table, “More!”
‘More bread?’ I asked
‘No!’
‘Cheese?’ I ventured
‘No!’
‘Tomato?’
‘No!’
‘Water, maybe?’ At this point, I was beginning to feel like a kindly but slightly stupid Labrador.

Image www.guidedogs.co.uk

‘No!’
‘Do you want olives?’
‘More’
Now I was confused; olives usually result in her pulling theatrical grimaces, fishing the hideous object that mummy has tried to poison her with from her mouth and flinging it with contempt to the floor.
I waited as she sampled my offering.
The olive elicited its usual reaction.
Yet she kept pointing, ‘more!’
Then it dawned on me (silly mummy), crazypixie had had red grapes earlier that looked almost exactly like the offending olives.
I, like the aforementioned Labrador who has suddenly realised the true meaning of ‘Fetch’, leapt up with a grin, scampered to the fridge, retrieved the grapes and presented them to crazypixie who bestowed a smile on me as she happily began munching.

I reckon in another year or two she’ll have us fully trained.

Awards, Puzzles and Naps....a good day.

By lunchtime today, 3 events of significance (well, in my little world anyway) had occurred…….

Firstly, I turned on my PC to find I had been given my first Blogger Award. Thank you Maternal Tales for the One Lovely Blog Award. I feel all warm and fuzzy and accepted!!

Then Crazypixie matched up all the animals in her puzzle (I’ve emailed Mensa).

And last but not least………

I had an hour and a half nap while both my girls slept. I will brag about it now as it may never happen again!

Yippee for today…..

And now it’s my turn to pass the One Lovely Blog Award on to five lovely blogs.
So here goes:
To my fellow mummy bloggers, campaigners, and recent mothers of two, Mammydiaries and Irish Mammy on the run, ladies you are great!
For her food inspiration and generally lovely blog Arty Feminist
To Mumunplugged and English Mum in Ireland, I really enjoy reading your lovely blogs.

Nap Time

Crazypixie has a daily routine that she is rather fond of, or should I say if she gets her naps and food on time we can avoid TTM (total toddler meltdown).

Today was the first day where I didn’t have assistance from himself, my mum or my sister at nap time.

Now, rather than be worried, I was optimistic. I’m a very capable woman (had to stopping typing there as had a fit of crazy laughter). I had even dared to plan on taking a nap myself as my two darlings snored sweetly (I know…hilarious)

Nap time is about 10:30, so I reckoned and hour and a half lead in time would be plenty.

This is roughly how it unfolded:

9:00 Put on kettle for cup of tea before the madness. Decide to do a quick wash-up as there is a lot of water in the kettle (feeling so organised and supermumish). Crazypixie helps by emptying cupboards.
9:15 Tinyelf begins to stir. Play a last game of build-the-bricks-and-knock-them –down-again with crazypixie, while keeping an ear out for tinyelf.
9:30 Feed tinyelf while reading animal book with crazypixie (definitely heading for mum of the year now).
9:45 (yes, she’s a speed feeder) Started to change tinyelf. Lifted crazypixie down from the table.
9:50 At the insistence of my toddler put nappy on crazypixies dolly, lifted crazypixie down from table for the third time.
9:55 Calmed crazypixie down after a Oscar-winning dive to the floor (from the floor) and big crocodile tears. Here comes the TTM………….
10:00 Manage to finish changing tinyelf, who’s not too impressed at this stage, as crazypixie flings her dolly around the room.
10:05 Give crazypixie her morning snack. All smiles and sweetness again. Lay tinyelf in her pram to kick about and so she’s out of reach from crazypixie who’s doing her best to introduce her sister to solids a little bit too early.
10:10 Run upstairs to get sleeping bag and bear. Tinyelf starts screaming. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram.
10:15 Realise sleeping bag is covered in poo from this mornings ‘good morning mummy’ gift. Run back up to laundry room to locate clean sleeping bag, crazypixie quite happy sleepily clutching bear but tinyelf wakes crying again. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram (going into crisis mode now) .
10:20 Chase crazypixie who has woken up again and decided that mummy needs more exercise (she may have a point) and then play I’ll-try –to-change-your-nappy-while-you-try-to-flip-yourself-over-and-run-away-at-every-possible-opportunity. Tinyelf wakes. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram (smiling on the outside, tearing my hair out on the inside).
10:25 Dismantle nappies and put them in bucket for washing later. Wash crazypixie’s hands after removing them from toilet. Tinyelf wakes. Wind tinyelf…. rock and soothe her…back in pram (I think I'm developing a nervous tic).
10:30 Put crazypixie in her sleeping bag. Start to sing her sleepy song while rubbing her hair. Tiny elf begins to wake. Run upstairs with crazypixie, give her a kiss, say night-night while putting her into her cot. Remove and hide extra toys that will keep her awake. Turn on monitor.
10:35 Run back downstairs to the now screaming tinyelf. Wind and soothe her…….give her another small feed……….walk around and sing to her until she dozes off.
10:50 Put tinyelf back in pram, settle her gently when she stirs again.
11:00 Both girls asleep. I enjoy a cold cup of tea while venting into the blogosphere…………..(it wasn't that bad, really)
11:30 Cr@p! Is that crazypixie stirring?

And then there were two.

Almost two weeks in and I’m beginning to discover the realities of two under two.

Here is a taste of the parenting dilemmas I’ve faced to date:

Tinyelf is latched on and frantically trying to deal with my Niagara-like let down, crazypixie is happily rolling around on the ground when I notice a suspicious brown substance running down her leg.
Solution: Ignore suspicious brown substance as himself is due home and finish feeding tinyelf.

Tinyelf is screaming with wind while I rub her back, meanwhile crazypixie disappears briefly then reappears chewing something that she refuses to show me but I catch a glimpse of a lump of blue stuff. Bluetac?
Solution: Prop tinyelf up with cushion and chase crazypixie and pry her mouth open. Only blue paper – whew. Let her eat it and resume winding tinyelf.

Tinyelf is fretting a bit with her nappy off as I clean off a particularly explosive poo, crazy pixie picks this moment to climb up on the garden bench, then onto table, then she proceeds to stand up on table and totter around precariously close to the edge.
Solution: Grab naked tinyelf and run to intercept crazypixie before she does a header off the table. In the excitement tinyelf pees all over my t-shirt and my only nursing bra that is both clean and fits.

Tinyelf is nursing enthusiastically when crazypixie disappears from view in the garden (don’t call social services, it is an enclosed garden and I’m sitting at the French doors).
Solution: Attempt to keep tinyelf latched on as I run around the side of the house. Crazypixie is just attempting to get in the cat flap but the neighbours are now wondering why I’m running around with my boobs hanging out and spraying milk in all directions as tinyelf howls for more.


And I have a feeling the fun is only beginning…………..