Sunday 28 June 2009

And then there were two.

Almost two weeks in and I’m beginning to discover the realities of two under two.

Here is a taste of the parenting dilemmas I’ve faced to date:

Tinyelf is latched on and frantically trying to deal with my Niagara-like let down, crazypixie is happily rolling around on the ground when I notice a suspicious brown substance running down her leg.
Solution: Ignore suspicious brown substance as himself is due home and finish feeding tinyelf.

Tinyelf is screaming with wind while I rub her back, meanwhile crazypixie disappears briefly then reappears chewing something that she refuses to show me but I catch a glimpse of a lump of blue stuff. Bluetac?
Solution: Prop tinyelf up with cushion and chase crazypixie and pry her mouth open. Only blue paper – whew. Let her eat it and resume winding tinyelf.

Tinyelf is fretting a bit with her nappy off as I clean off a particularly explosive poo, crazy pixie picks this moment to climb up on the garden bench, then onto table, then she proceeds to stand up on table and totter around precariously close to the edge.
Solution: Grab naked tinyelf and run to intercept crazypixie before she does a header off the table. In the excitement tinyelf pees all over my t-shirt and my only nursing bra that is both clean and fits.

Tinyelf is nursing enthusiastically when crazypixie disappears from view in the garden (don’t call social services, it is an enclosed garden and I’m sitting at the French doors).
Solution: Attempt to keep tinyelf latched on as I run around the side of the house. Crazypixie is just attempting to get in the cat flap but the neighbours are now wondering why I’m running around with my boobs hanging out and spraying milk in all directions as tinyelf howls for more.


And I have a feeling the fun is only beginning…………..

6 comments:

artyfeminist said...

Jen it sounds like you are coping just fine. I love the image of you running through the yard with milk spraying - so funny.

SandyCalico said...

Oh that's hilarious! Yes, it sounds like you're doing great.
I have two under two, but fortunately they're 22 months and 10 months now. So I can tell you from experience that it does get easier x

Claire said...

Oh Jen you do make me laugh! Sounds like absolute bedlam but at least you can see the funny side eh? And a bit of paper eating never hurt anybody. x

mammydiaries said...

Love it Jen:) lmao at you spraying milk everywhere:)

Irish Mammy said...

Funny!! There was I thinking 2 girls would be a more peaceful affair...than 2 boys with one just 2 and the other less than 2 weeks! Explosive poos I know all about :-)

jen said...

Thanks for the support girls and I'm glad my lactating antics have made you smile. As for it being more peaceful with girls, I'm not sure...let's just say the name crazypixie is very apt!